Harry Potter and the Hogsmeade Adventure!
by Dusk Dreamer
Summary: Harry, Ron, and Hermione are bored in the common room, until Ginny surprises them with an idea. Read as to how they finally manage to do what she says and what they do when they get there. Rated for language.
1. In The Gryffindor Common Room

**Harry Potter and the Hogsmeade Adventure!**

Note: Hr is Hermione and H is Harry. -blank- means someone feeling or doing something. Enjoy reading!

IN THE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are sitting in the common room glaring at the wall.

Hermione: -glare-

Harry: -glare-

Ron: -glare-

Hr: -gla—

R: -sigh- This is so FUCKING boring!

Hr: Ron!

H: Hermione!

R: Harry!

Hr: -sigh- Ron, don't swear.

R: Why not?

Hr: Because…because…_Fuck._

R&H: Hermione!

Hr: Ron!

Ginny: Harry!

H&R&H: -jump-

G: Hi guys. I happened to overhear your conversation.

H: -twitch- -whispers to Ron- You don't think she might have happened to hear the part where I admitted my undying love for her, do you?

R: -raises eyebrows- -whispers to Harry- Harry, you never _admitted_ your undying love for her.

H: Oh. Right.

G: So, I assume you guys are bored?

Hr: -sigh-

G: Well, when bored—

Hr: Go to the library!

H: Find Draciepoo!

R: Make out with Lavender!

G: -twitch- No, you go to Hogsmeade.

Hr: Hmph.

H: …That's fine too…

R: Yes! Please! Hogsmeade instead of UNBEARABLE TORTURE!

G: -giggles-

Hr: But we're not aloud to go to Hogsmeade at two in the morning!

G: That's where Harry's cloak comes in, right Harry?

H: Borrowing something from me, are you Gin?

G: …

H: -raises eyebrows suggestively- You're going to have to pay me back on that one...

G: …Okay, Harry. So, could we borrow it?

H: As long as you keep your promise, Ginny.

G: -twitch- Alrighty then.

R: Should we bring the Marauders Map along?

H: Borrowing something from me, are you R-

R: Shut up, Harry.

Hr: I'll go get Harry's stuff!

H: Going up to my room, are you Her-

Hr: SHUT UP, Harry.

H: -sigh-

Hr: -scampers off-

R: So Ginny, were where you before you 'happened to overhear our conversation?'

G: _Fuck._ I was…hehe…

R&H: Go on…

G: mkngoutwthdn.

R: Do you want me to take points from Gryffindor, Ginny?

G: What a hell? You're not even a prefect.

R: -goes bug eyed- I WILL! I SWEAR I WILL!

G: -sigh- I was…makingoutwithdean.

H: -single tear drops down cheek pathetically-

R: -turns into a lion and back again- You little!

G: Just for a couple of hours!

R: You…him…making…out…penguins…are…hot…-head explodes-

G&H: RON!!!

G: Shut up, Harry.

H: -sigh-

Ron's Head: Good bye, Ginny. You where a good sister. Harry…I've always had some…strong feelings for you…do you think…you could… kiss me, as my last dying wish?

H: Ew.

Ron's Hand: -stretches out in agony-

Ron's Head: My head is over there, to the right.

Ron's Hand-points to random corner-

H: -reluctantly etches closer to Ron's head- Double Ew.

G: I agree that's horribly surprising and wrong, Harry, and I would much rather have you kiss _me_, but-

H: WHAT?

G: I…I mean…I wouldn't?

H: Liar.  
G: -flutters eyelashes- _Kiss me, Harry. _

H: -faints-

H: -revives-

H&G: -make out-

Ron's Head: NO!!!

Hr: -appears- WTF?

Ron's Head: _Kiss me, Hermione._

Hr: Ew, no.

Ron's Head: But…but…as my last dying wish…

Hr: You're not dying, Ron. -performs impossibly complicated spell-

Ron's Head and Body: -merge-

R: _Kiss me, Hermione. _

Hr: Ew, no.

R: But…but…

Hr: When did Harry and Ginny get so…comfortable with each other?

R: Well, it all started when I asked Ginny what she had been doing and she said she had been making out with Dean so my head obviously exploded into a million pieces.

Hr: Except for the part where…it totally didn't?

R: I have two heads. The other one happened to be lying in the corner.

Hr: Go on…

R: So then I was like_Kiss me, Harry. _And Harry was like, Ew no, so-

Hr: You said WHAT?

R: …Ehem…so then Ginny's like, I know it's gross and all so make out with me instead and they're still going at it.

Hr: Ginny?

G: Mph.

Hr: HARRY?!

H: Yes, Hermione?

Hr: -gapes- But, how can you respond? You're making out with Ginny!

H: Ron's not the only one that has two heads…

Half an hour later…

Ron and Hermione are sitting in some random chairs, and Harry and Ginny are still making out.

Hr: -sigh-

R: -sigh-

Hr: Want to try again?

R: Might as well.

Hr: -stands up, goes over to Ginny, and pulls hard-

R: -does the same with Harry-

G&H: -snog-

R: -pulls-

Hr: -pulls-

G&H: -snog-

Hr: Don't they need air?

R: Not with two heads, they don't.

Hr: GINNY'S IN IT TOO?

G: That's bloody right.

Hr: But she said Mph when I was trying to talk to her…

R: Extra heads can be pretty mean…

Hr: -sobs-

Hr's extra head: -sobs- I thought I was the only one…

R: …anywho, want to try something different?

Hr: Might as well.

R: …What then?

Hr: HEY, LOOK! IT'S SNAPE!

G: Um, extra heads have eyes…

Hr: Damn it.

R: -checks that off list-

Hr: WHAT? You have a list?

R: Yep. I just checked off you yelling HEY, LOOK! IT'S SNAPE! And Ginny going Um, extra heads have eyes…and then you going damn i-

Hr: OKAY, Ron. So…

R: So…

Hr: What's next on the list?

R: We use magic to pull them apart.

Hr: That's so crazy it's obviously going to work!

R: Damn right, it is! Stopsnoggingeviosa!

Hr: -shakes head- NO, Ron. You have to swish and flick.

R: -swears- YOU do it, then!

Hr: Stopsnoggingeviosa!

G&H: -stop snogging- Aww…

Hr: -grins triumphantly-

R: -grumble grumble-

Dean: -is burnt-

R: WTF? Where'd you come from?

Dean: No where, just no where…-goes back into corner and cries pitifully-

R&Hr&H&G: ...

H: Well, time to skip off to Hogsmeade!

Hr: That's so corny it just might work!

R&Hr&H&G: -skip off to Hogsmeade-


	2. In Random Hogwarts Corridor

IN RANDOM HOGWARTS CORRIDOR…

Hr: -stops skipping- Wait…

H: What?

Hr: I feel like we've forgotten something…

R: Don't be such an ass, Hermione.

Hr: -goes bug-eyed- No, NO! I feel it, in my gut! -grabs hold of Ron's shirt- IN MY GUT, YOU HEAR ME?

R: -swats at Hermione- AHH! GET HER AWAY!

Hr: -lets go of Ron- -picks off Ron's cooties- No need to get physical, Ron.

R: Ignoring your hypocriticalization, WHAT A HELL WAS THAT FOR?

Hr: -giggles- You called me an ass, so I thought I'd get you back a little.

H: -giggles- Haha! You have Hermione's COOTIES!

G: -giggles- Cooooties! Coooties!

H&G: -chant- Coooties! Coooties! Coo-

R: NOOOOOO!

H&G: The cooties will get you! You know they wi-

Hr: WAIT! I've just remembered what we've forgotten!

H: -is annoyed- _What_, Hermione?

Hr: Okay, here goes:

The Marauder's Map which will tell us when

Filch

Peeves

Snape

Exetera…

Are coming,

The cloak which will hide us from

Filch

Peeves

Snape

Exetera…

If they do come, and, most importantly…

We've been shouting Coooties and other random stuff for the past five minutes and anyone including

A. Filch

B. Peeves

C. Snape

D. Exetera…

Might have heard! -gasps for breath-

G: Crap.

R: Crap.

Hr: Crap is right.

H: What a hell are you guys talking about? Accio cloak!

Cloak: -lands on Harry's head-

H: Accio Marauder's Map!

Marauder's Map: -lands on top of cloak-

H: SEE? And do you know WHY I was able to do that?

Hr: -sigh- Why where you able to do that, Harry?

H: -screams- I'm fucking Harry Potter, BITCH, **THAT'S HOW!**

R&G&Hr: …

R: You totally took that from a Harry Potter icon.

H: -blushes-

H: Wait…you like looking at Harry Potter icons?

R: -blushes- Maybe…

Hr: -blushes- Maybe…

H: What?! I didn't even ask you, Mione!

Hr: Oh. Right.

G: Maybe I do to-

Hr: Harry, shouldn't you take all that crap off your head?

H: Why?

Hr: -sigh-

G: -giggles- It looks hot on your head, Harry.

H: It does, doesn't it? -smirks-

Hr&R: -double sigh-

Snape: -turns corner into corridor-

R: QUICK! SOMEONE'S COMING!

G: Stop being such a liar, Ron.

Snape: -comes closer-

R: NO! REALLY! I THINK IT'S SNAPE!

Hr: What's your problem, Ron? You should just draw the line somewhere.

Snape: -comes ever closer-

R: -sobs- Why won't anyone believe me?

H: -shakes head sadly- Because** I'M** Harry Potter, bitch, not you. -pats Ron on head-

R: -shakes Harry's hand away and sobs louder-

Snape: -is behind them- POTTER!

H&Hr&G&R: -jump- AAAAH! IT'S SNAPE, THE POTIONS MASTER!

Snape: Well, duh…POTTER!'s like, my whole script, you know? -tear-

H: Aren't you supposed to be like, beating me with a stick or something?

S: -recovers- POTTER!

H: _Damnit._ Yes, Professor?

S: What are you and your little friends doing in this random empty corridor when everyone else is eating breakfast in the Great Hall?

H: I dunno.

S: -sneers- And why do you have…an invisibility cloak and a random piece of parchment on your head?

H: …I dunno.

S: -double sneers- And why was Mr. Weasley sobbing when I got here?

H: …I dunno.

S: -triple sneers- And WHY, may I ask, have I been hearing screams all morning such as:

IN MY GUT, YOU HEAR ME?

COOTIES!

NOOOOOO!

I'm fucking Harry Potter, BITCH, **THAT'S HOW!**

QUICK! SOMEONE'S COMING! And finally,

AAAAH! IT'S SNAPE, THE POTIONS MASTER!

H: I can only explain the last one, and even that's going to be difficult.

S: -goes into sneering overload- That's what I thought. Mr.Potter, Mr.Weasley, and Miss.Granger, you may accompany me to my office.

H&Hr&R: -sigh-

H&Hr&R: -walk slowly towards office-

S: -slithers creepily towards office-

H: -whispers to Ron- Lets get out of here.

R: -whispers back- How?

H: -points to head- The cloak!

R: Can we get four people in there?

H: It's sad how we didn't think of that before, but yes, I think we can.

Hr: -whispering- You idiots, Professor Snape will totally see.

R: When did you come into this conversation?

Hr: I wasn't ever NOT in it, Ron.

R: Hmph.

H: Shh! Hermione, we need you to create a distraction.

G: I better do that.

R: When did you come into thi-?

Hr: Now isn't the time, Ronald.

R: Hmph.

G: I'll create a distraction so Snape will be busy an-

S: _Professor _Snape, Miss Weasley.

G&Hr&R&H: -!!!!-

R: When did you get into this conversa-

S: sneers My extra head always keeps an ear open for disrespect of professors.

H: twitch So…you have no idea what we're talking about except that we…disrespected you?

S: smirksYes.

Hr&H&R&G: phew

H: Ginny, hurry up with the distraction!

Luna: -turns the corner and almost collides into Snape- Well, hello there Professor!

G: -giggles- I don't think we need one anymore…

S: -stiffly- Miss…. Lovegood.

L: -brightly- I was just looking for you!

G: -stiffles a giggle-

S: -stiffles a groan- Really? Whatever for?

L: Well, I was wondering if you had the ingredients to help me make a scrumphsnock dinner for my baby Fluttercolt.

S: I see…

Hr: giggles Harry! Cloak, now!

H: pulls cloak off head covers foursome with cloak -whispers- Shall we skip then?

Hr: That seems agreeable…

G: It sure does.

R: grumble grumble skip


	3. Finally In Hogsmeade

FINALLY IN HOGSMEADE

H: Well, look at that.

G: We're in Hogsmeade.

R: We sure are.

Hr: So…what ever shall we do?

R: First of all, we can stop talking like morons…

H: Right…

R: Second of all, I say we head over to The Three Broomsticks and decide what we want to do over some crack.

H&Hr&G: …

R: What?

H&Hr&G: …

R: -sheepishly- Oh, sorry, wrong movie. -scratches neck- -coughs loudly- Second of all, I say we head over to The Three Broomsticks and decide what we want to do over some butterbeer. -looks at Harry and Hermione hopefully-

H&Hr&G: -sigh in obvious relief-

H: That sounds like a jolly old splendid idea.

Hr: I rather agree with it too.

R: I thought we went over the fact that we can STOP TALKING LIKE MORONS.

H: That sounds like a jolly old sple-

R: -slaps Harry-

H: -gets slapped- Well, look at that. I got a boo-boo.

R: -slaps Harry-

H: -gets slapped- I think that was just all around impolite, Ronniepoo.

R: -bitchslaps Harry-

H: -gets bitchslapped- FUCK! What a hell was that for, Ron?

R: That's better. You need some spanking too, Hermione? -grins wickedly-

Hr: -cringes- No, I'm fine, thanks.

R: -looks threateningly at Hermione-

Hr: I…I mean, uh, -goes to the library quickly and comes back- Hell no, who the fuck do you think I am?

R: That's my girl.

G: -wanders off-

Hr: Hey, where's Ginny?

R: -shrug-

H: -shrug-

Hr: -shrug-

H: So…should we start heading over to The Three Broomsticks?

R: That sounds like a jolly ol- -claps hand over mouth- Yeah, yeah okay. -looks around wildly- The quicker the better.

H&R&Hr: -run like lightning to three broomsticks- -enter- -sit at random table- -pant- -catch their breath-

R: Well, that was fun, wasn't it?

H&Hr: …

R: Well fine. I'll just go read these random Harry Potter icons I found in my pocket mysteriously which I obviously did not take my own sweet time to print and cut and paste from Harry Potter sites which I go to every day….-twitch-

H: Oooh! Oooh! Let me see!

Hr: -rolls eyes- _Boys…and Harry Potter icons…_

H: -scooches over to Ron-

R: -reads- POTTER. My anti-drug.

R&H: -laugh together- TOTALLY.

R: Aw! How cute! You and Draco together!

H: -leaves world-

R: Harry? You still there?

H: -takes his sweet ass time getting back-

R: Harry…

H: -shakes head rapidly- Oh, yeah. Um, Ron…could I keep this?

R: -grins- Thought you'd ask.

H: -slips icon into pocket-

Hr: Harry, why did you just-

R: YOU SAW NOTHING!!!

Hr: ….

R&H: -take out wands- YOU SAW-

Hr: -raises hands- OKAY, OKAY. Don't kill me!

H: Oh, fine.

R&H: -reluctantly put away wands-

Hr: -twitch-

R: Oh. My. Gawd!

H&Hr: WHAT?

H: Snape? A dementor? Malfoy? Spiders? Voldemort? Homework? Non-frosted cupcakes?

Hr: No homework? No books? No library? No! NO! **NO!!** _NO!!!_ IT CAN'T BE!!!

R: What a hell, Hermione. It has nothing to do with your nightmares.

Hr: -glares- Don't lie to me…-clenches and unclenches fists-

R: I'm no-

H: Just leave her to it, she'll stop in a few days.

R: -rolls eyes- Oh, fine. _Girls and libraries…_

H: …

R: …

H: …So, why did you do the whole Oh. My. Gawd! Trick?

R: -grins- Come here.

H: -etches closer to Ron-

R&H: -look in unison at icon-

H: Me and…Hedwig?

R: It's a popular ship nowadays.

H: -flips hair- Not that I'm complaining, but we broke up like, ages ago.

R: I know right? They totally need to catch up.

H: -puckers lips- Mm-Hm.

R: So…want some crack?

H: RON! Come on, dude! We practiced our lines like what, TWO TIMES?

R: -sheepishly- Sorry, sorry. I'll cut that from the scene.

H: -runs hand through hair- You better remember. And catch a shot of me running a hand through my hair too, we need a hot pic in this.

R: Oh fine.

Shot of Harry running hand through hair: -is hot-

R: -brightly- Can I get a picture of ME running MY hand through MY hair?

H: NO!

R: -grumble- Do you think Hermione's out of it?

H: Hermione?

Hr: No no no no no no no no no.

H: Nope.

Hr: Yes, Harry?

H: Cuthtatfromthescene Yes.

Hr: YES, Harry?

H: Oh, um…since we're not at Hogwarts…

Hr: _Obviously…_

H: And we're at Hogsmeade…

Hr: _Obviously…_

H: Let's hang out at the Hog's Head!

R: Wait, way too many Hogs. What are we talking about again?

H: -sigh- Hog's. Head. Now.

R: Whatev. Lets go.

Hr: Shall we skip?

R: I SAID TO STOP TALKING LIKE MO-

H: Just go with it, Ron.

R: -sigh-

H&Hr&R: -skip off to Hog's Head forgetting completely about Ginny-


End file.
